I used to proclaim and believe that fairy tales were real. I would state that we could have the “happily ever after” for ourselves; I would say and deeply believe (or at least I wanted to) that “we can be the hero”, “we can save our princess”, and “we can live happily ever after.” 

Fairy Time

The problem with “fairy tales” is the time frame that these stories tend to portray. They are simply unrealistic. A realistic “happily ever after” doesn’t happen in 90 minutes like in the movies we watched as kids. The realistic fairytale life as a great husband, father, and man cannot happen with the flip of a few pages like it does in the books we read. 

Daily Happily Ever After 

Real fairy tales happen in the mundane middle minutes and little moments of life. Our happily ever after takes hard, and sometimes even boring, work. 

As cool and motivating as it might be, there is no epic music score playing as we tackle the day to day tasks of being a man: kids screaming, a work project due, you and your wife are exhausted and dinner and the dishes still need to be done. 

What do we do then? Should we throw up our hands, give up and say I never imagined life being married with kids would be so hard? 

High School Sweethearts Live Intentionally Ever After 

I have been with my wife for nearly 20 years now. We have three beautiful daughters and I believe we are living our “happily ever after.” But let me tell you, it has taken hard intentional work, on both our parts, to achieve the happiness and peace we have now. 

In my biased opinion, I think our story is better than those Disney movie fairy tales. 20 years (that is over 10 million minutes) and the movie is still not over. And I’m hoping for at least 10 million more. 

There are countless actions, sacrifices, and hard things we’ve had to do over those 10 million minutes. 

Here are five intentional actions we still do to keep our happily ever after day after day:

1. Pray for each other 
2. Schedule time for each other every day, even if it’s just 30 minutes 
3. Ask this question at least once a day, “What can I do to help?”
4. Do the dishes even when it’s not your turn 
5. Weekly date nights 

As you begin to work together to build your “happily ever after”, it might be hard to know where to start. Here are 3 keys that my wife and I have used that have helped us”. Or something like that.

The 3 Keys to Ensure Your Happy Ending

1. Set your Vision – Make sure you know what your happy ending looks like. Be detailed about your dream and ideal life.
2. Suck it Up – Or as some of my Navy SEAL friends say, embrace the suck. I want to clarify what I believe these statements mean. I believe they are nudging us to lean into the discomfort. Anything and everything worth having is always on the other side of inconvenience. Sincerely ask yourself what a realistic adult time frame is for you and your dreams, maybe it’s a five year goal, or a 3 year goal, the point is you have a timeframe set before you as you begin this journey. 
3. Sustain – Life’s greatest rewards are the ones you work for daily. Having a great relationship with your wife and kids, or growing spiritually, does not happen once. It is a lifetime journey. 

Everyone Wants the Happy Ending, But Nobody Wants the Mundane Middle 

The real magic of fairy tales is only uncovered to those willing to work through the mundane middle. 

So you want your happy ending, huh? You want to be a great husband, and fantastic father, while getting into the best health of your life; you want to grow more in your spiritual life; you want to foster deep and meaningful relationships; you want to make it a grand adventure while doing it all?

Is it possible? It is, but you have to be willing to be consistent in the mundane middle. Do you really want it?