What we focus on matters. When you pour dirty water into a clear glass without stopping, what do you think will eventually overflow from that cup, clean or dirty water? Dirty water will overflow from it every time.
Whatever you pour in, is what will eventually pour out, this is true for a cup and it is true for our lives. In order to live as HeRose and experience Whole Man success we need to control who and what gets poured into our cups.
Your Cup, Your Choice
Many men are walking around with water in their cup that they may not even realize they have.
For example, I have seen many men who grew up without a father figure or with a father who wasn’t the best example. And despite their words and desires of being better, many of these men take those same actions that they despise from their father.
Let me be the first to tell you that I have been there, I understand how hard it can be to get rid of the dirty water that has been poured into your cup.
I will also say that despite it being hard it is not impossible.
Are there areas in your life where you are getting dirty water dumped into your cup and it is negatively affecting your life?
The First Step to a Cup Filled With Clean Water
This category of a man’s life is the most vital in terms of experiencing Whole Man success because the people you choose to be around create your ecosystem and culture.
These people impact what is allowed and acceptable in your life.
Your Crew also impacts your Content and Conversation. Many times the conversations we have with our crew are based on what we are watching, listening to, or thinking about. So, you wouldn’t last long in a crew that only talks about sports if you never played or watch sports.
Think about the shows, movies, and podcasts you watch and listen to now. I bet many of them were recommended or talked about by your crew. I can vouch for this, I remember when I first started actively choosing my crew, I chose men who valued self improvement, marriage, fatherhood, and entrepreneurship.
Let me tell you it was shocking.
I remember once when I attended a small meeting that my crew had invited me to. There was a husband and wife speaking on stage. The husband opened up with edification towards his wife. He said something to the effect of: “This woman is one of the most talented speakers and leaders I know.”
And, right at this moment I unconsciously chuckled thinking he was being sarcastic. How crazy, right? I was so sheltered from men who genuinely spoke highly of their wives that I thought the speaker was joking.
Choose your Crew carefully.
Content Controls Our Narrative
The great Albert Einstein says that: “We cannot solve a problem with the same level of intelligence we created it with.”
I love this quote because it depicts so clearly how vital the right information can be in our lives. How often are you seeking information that will help you solve problems or grow as a man?
Now, I know I may be preaching to the choir here, because you are reading this blog so just bear with me. According to a recent survey by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics American Time Use Survey, Americans spend on average about 3.1 hours per day watching television.
According to another new report from the National Center for Health Statistics, a part of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The average American male lives to the age of about 75.
Think about this for a minute, if men are spending 3.1 hours a day watching television and live to an average age of 75, that means that most men will spend 9.8 years of their lives just watching television.
I’m as big a fan as anyone when it comes to great television shows, I just can’t help but think of the amount of knowledge I can gain or the transformation I could experience if I just took a portion of that 9.8 years and invested it into becoming a better husband, father, entrepreneur or even improving my health or spiritual life.
Here are two practical ways to start choosing your content, this is what I started with:
- Everyday choose 15 minutes of intentional reading and put some good water in through the medium of reading
- In addition to that choose to listen to 15 minutes of something good, a podcast or even an audiobook
Life or Death Through Our Words
The conversations we have matter. Those conversations can be life-giving or life-sucking depending on what is being said.
If you have ever done a financial education program or training then you remember the first step towards improving your financial literacy and health. Most times it was to: take an account of all transactions for a certain period of time.
I remember my first program asked me to not change my normal spending habits and to track every single penny that came into my account and every penny that went out. The reason these programs ask you to do this, is because we need to know where we are before we can get to where we want.
In that same spirit I want to track your conversations for just ONE day. Track all and any conversations you have. Here is a list to help guide your tracking:
- Conversations you have with yourself.
- Conversations you have with others
Once we have tracked the number of conversations we have then we want to track the quality of our conversations. Here is a suggested way to measure quality:
- Did the conversation add value?
- Did the conversation help me feel encouraged or discouraged?
- Was the conversation negative or positive?
Based on your results, appropriate changes you see fit.
When I first started tracking my finances over those thirty days, I remember thinking “what a waste of time.” I thought to myself: “Why can’t my mentor just give me the answer or the magic pill that would transform my financial situation?”
It wasn’t until the thirty days were over that I realized the true power behind tracking everything. It was a reality check that no one could communicate to me, I needed to see the truth for myself.
At the end of thirty days I found out I was spending approximately $300 a month on lunches while I was at work. You see, if my mentor had told me to “stop buying lunches and pack lunch so you can save money and start a business”, I would have probably ignored that comment and thought he doesn’t know what I spend. Afterall, I work hard, I deserve to eat out when I want!
You see, without the data it’s hard to recognize the truth about the quality of our decisions. Be as detailed and concerned about your conversations as you are with your finances.
4 Ingredients For Fresh Overflowing Water
- Choose your Crew carefully, it could help you become a better man and husband.
- Choose your Content intentionally, it could save you from wasting years watching TV.
- Calculate the quantity and quality of the Conversations you have and make the appropriate changes.
- Join HeRose and get help with all three of the previous steps from other men looking to overflow with clean water as well.
