I had a mentor who often told me: “If you hang out with bank robbers long enough you will eventually rob a bank, or you will at least be driving the getaway car.”
My mentor was teaching me one of the most powerful forces known to mankind:
Your friend circle matters!
The men you choose to spend time with will change your life.
Don’t Play with Little Johnny!
This power of our friend circle starts when we are kids. Think back to when you were a kid playing in the neighborhood. If your parents were like mine, then you probably heard something like , “Don’t hang out with Johnny from down the street he (fill in any action or attitude your parents deemed a bad influence).”
Somehow our parents understood this principle. They wanted us to choose our friends with intent.
Now, if you can’t relate to this story,maybe you were little Johnny from down the street! All jokes aside, even from a very young age, the people that we choose to be around has an impact on our attitude, actions, ambition, and even our appearance.
We have to be intentional and conscious of who we choose to constantly be around.
Great Men Have Always Understood This Principle
Let’s look at the words of some of the greats:
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great [ones] make you feel that you, too, can become great.” – Mark Twain
“Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for ’tis better to be alone than in bad company.” – George Washington
“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” -Proverbs 12:26
Cubicle Connections
I am amazed at how natural it is for my three daughters to walk up to another kid or group of kids at the park and just start playing with them. The ability children have to just walk up to other kids and begin playing is a super power that I think we have forgotten as adults. What happened to intentionally choosing our circle of friends?
As adults we get thrown into connections without even giving it a second thought.
For example, we start a new job and get shown to our cubicle, and right there next to your desk is another person. We will spend approximately eight to ten hours next to this person. Now, without actual consideration or thought we find ourselves in a relationship with this person.
Sometimes it turns out great! This person can challenge you in a healthy way to improve in certain areas of life, and you may even have similar values and interests. However, sometimes it can be the complete opposite. This person can become one of those “bad influences” our parents warned us about!
My point here is this: oftentimes as adults we accept whatever connection is placed in front of us without examining the intention and impact behind it.
Jesus’ Secret Miracle
Many years ago there was a tweet that went viral stating:
“Nobody talks about Jesus’ miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30’s.”
It’s funny because it’s true. Many men don’t have a lot of close friends. Now, before you disregard what I’m saying because you have a “ton” of friends you hang out with, let’s consider the different types of friends we can be around…
Quantity vs. Quality Friendship
We all have the friends that we hangout with regularly. Sometimes they are the guys we watch the game with, or maybe the guys we play weekend ball with. And there is nothing wrong with these friendships. But what I want to encourage us to do is to examine the quality of these relationships.
Trust me I have buddies like that. We play video games, grab a beer, or play some men’s softball.
Like I said these can be fun and good friendships. The issue I believe that can arise for men is: if these quantity relationships are the only men-relationships we have in our lives, then we need to ask ourselves: what do quality relationships look like?
For me I consider these 3 C’s:
- Content – Do the men around me stretch me to be better in one or more of the key areas of life? (Super Six areas of life: Health, Wealth, Relationships, Spiritual, Mental, Adventure)
- Conversation – Do the men around me talk about uplifting and empowering topics?
- Challenge – Are the men around me willing to challenge me to stay accountable to my values, and goals in my life?
Show Me Your Friends and I’ll Predict Your Future
What do you want your future to look like, a year from now, three years from now? Will you be driving the metaphoric getaway car for the local bank robbers or will you be amongst the local HeRose in your community? We need to recognize that people can have a positive or negative impact on our lives.
So let’s intentionally choose who we invest our time with. Let’s identify the relationships in our lives that are quantity, and let’s increase the quality relationships we have in our lives.
One of the easiest ways to power up your association is to find a group of men who stand for something good; find men who have similar values to yours and join the group.
You are always invited to explore and join HeRose The Men’s Mastermind. Start by joining our HeRose private Facebook Group.
