As I write this my family and I are on our way to Disneyland for my youngest daughter’s third birthday. And let’s just say the car is not in a state of happiness for the happiest place on earth. My wife and I are not seeing eye to eye this morning. During all the chaos in the morning that can come from getting three excited young girls ready for a whole day at Disneyland, my wife and I got into a small argument. My wife is amazing and literally takes the lead on getting out the whole household prepped, packed, and ready to go. I often do my best to try and help, the key word there is “try”. Maybe see if you can relate. I asked my wife, how can I help and she said something like go and clean out the car, and I’m thinking to myself, the car seemed perfectly ok to me yesterday. The point is not the topic of the argument, the point is now there is a tension in the car between us and I know what I need to do to fix it, but will I?

Just Knowing Is Useless Unless You Act 

You see, if I know how to get rid of the tension between my wife and but never do it, then it is almost like I never knew what to do. Too many times as men we can pride ourselves on “knowing” things. Knowing the latest diet fad, or claiming we know how to save money and create wealth. Or we might even offer up this proclaimed knowledge to those around us who need relationship advice. Yet, for some reason many of us men get stuck, we get stuck in the prison of knowledge and the keys of action are in our hands.

The 3 Reasons Why You Get Don’t Act 

Just because we have the knowledge does not mean we want to apply that knowledge, know how to apply that knowledge or are patient enough to actually see results. Here are the 3 reasons I’ve known what to do but have not. 

1. Pride – This is a bigger anchor for so many men. Typically this is wrapped up with a list of emotions. For example, I am currently upset with my wife because she was not clear on what she needs me to help with. And I pridefully thought how is she not just overly grateful and thankful that even with my busy schedule I am helping. Men, that’s pride. If I cultivate that thought it will keep me from fixing things with my wife.
2. Plan – I know what to do, I know that in order to fix things with my wife, I have to find my part in the argument and apologize. I also have to reset my emotions from frustration and anger to compassion and love. Sometimes though this plan is all scattered in my mind. As I take a moment to write this I have gained clarity on what steps I need to take and in what order.
3. Patience – Rome wasn’t built in a day. What that means is I need to know and you need to know when you start applying the knowledge we have things won’t magically and instantly change and get better. However we must continue to apply wisdom with patience and over time worlds can be transformed and I’m certain my wife and I will be joyfully holding each other as our daughter celebrates her birthday at Disneyland.

Define. Learn. Do.

Define – As men we need to have extreme clarity on what we want in life. What type of man do you want to be? What kind of marriage do you want? What type of relationship do you want with your children? What does living a long healthy life look like for you? What type of spiritual life do you want? Do you want joy, fulfillment and happiness in your life? 

Learn – Once you have this clarity on what you want, who you want to be and how you want to live, then the next vital step is you go after learning HOW to do it. Read books, listen to podcasts, join a mastermind group, get a mentor, attend seminars. Be a tenacious student and learn what you need to in order to live the life you want. And never stop learning.

Do – Lastly and most importantly take consistent action based on the knowledge you have gained. 

Time To Fix It With My Wife

Thank you for allowing me to work through in real time a real life situation. I am inspired now to take action and apologize to my wife. I hope you are on guard for the three things that keep us men from taking action on the knowledge we have. I also hope you take a moment to walk through the Define – Learn – Do process. This process has literally transformed my life and it continues to level up my life every time I work through it. I pray you take these steps and move from knowledge to action. One action I want you to take now that I know will help you stay in action and never get trapped in the prison of inaction again is, joining the HeRose Challenge Facebook group. In this group we are constantly doing new challenges that push you to action and success in all Super Six areas of your life.