In HeRose we believe that we should not lead a lopsided life. Meaning, we are only successful in one category. For example, we kill it business (Wealth) and do really well, but end up killing our marriage or destroying the relationships with our children. We believe in striving for “Whole Man” success, which is prosperity in all Super Six Areas of life; Mental, Physical, Spiritual, Relationships, Adventure, and Wealth. Let me tell you a story about how date nights continue to create wealth and success in my life.
Kids Always Mess it Up
Adding children to a relationship will inevitably add more to your plate and if you are not careful this can interfere with the relationship between you and your significant other. My wife and I experienced this about six years ago. Before children my wife and I would regularly go on dates and spend a ton of time together. When we found out we were pregnant with our first daughter, we said to each other, “ no matter what we will still make time for dates with each other.” Take a guess at how many dates we went on that first year.
Zero
Zip
Zilch
What happened? Our intentions and desires were aligned and true to wanting to spend time together, so what happened? Why did we not go no, not even one date?
I did not schedule it. It was not my wife’s fault we did not go on a date and it also was not my daughters fault; it was my fault.
A Pink Calendar For the Save!
I could not believe it had been twelve months without one date night with my wife. Christmas was coming up and I knew exactly what to do. I drove straight to Target and 3×5 index cards and a pink calendar. I began to plan out 24 date nights for the next coming year. One date in and one date night out with an activity. I reserved spaces, I planned out food menus, and I even put deposits on some dates. That next year we went on more dates than we had in the previous two years.
Scheduled = Success
This proved to me that if something is important to me, then I must schedule time to be present for that. I can’t simply have good intentions, I can’t only speak about what’s important to me, I have to prove it with my actions. And, if you are like me, life is busy and sometimes our actions do not directly correlate with our intentions or priorities. I began using this principle of “Schedule = Success” in every area of my life. I wanted to improve my health, I would schedule in my calendar the days and times I would go to the gym, guess what I got better results than ever. I felt like I needed to invest some more time with my daughters and so, I now have scheduled every 90 days a special date with each of my girls. I wanted to grow my current business and start another, guess what I did. I scheduled the time to do it. Don’t get me wrong I do not stick to my schedule perfectly but I promise I have so much further ahead than if I would not schedule these things in. Here are three steps I took each time I leverage the principle of “Scheduled = Success”
- Schedule – Put the time into an actual calendar. It could be digital or analog, the important step here is to pick a category of life you want to improve and schedule the necessary time to do so.
- Sacred – Keep the time you schedule as sacred. Take a moment and think of the most important person you could have a meeting with, now ask yourself, “Would I easily cancel on this person? The answer is probably no, in that case do whatever you can to maintain the sacredness of the time you book with yourself in these categories of your life.
- Support – Being around the right type of people makes a world of difference. Imagine having friends who only value time for work and sports watching and you tell them that you can’t watch the game tonight because you have a scheduled weekly date night with your wife? They would not understand the value. Get around other men who intentionally schedule time in what’s important and watch how their presence lifts your experience and success.
I continue to reap the benefits and wealth from what I learned from date nights. My wife and I still have a standing date night every Friday night. And it’s a constant reminder to me that if I want to increase my success or prosperity in any one of my Super Six I need to schedule time to do so.
