Asking the WHY question? 

Ever wonder why you may be feeling depressed?  Why have you lost the energy for life you once had as a child? Why are you experiencing this low sad state of being? 

To answer in the most simplest way possible; 

You wanted and expected something in your life to happen and it didn’t happen. Your vision and imposed Will about a certain person or dream of yours did not happen; the way you wanted it to happen. 

Yes, external tragedies happen in life that are out of our control; such as the unexpected loss of a loved one or an accident that can change your life forever. But for most of us the depression and levels of depression we experience are created on our own; and because things didn’t go our way. 

Hopefully you have realized that life does not go your way; and it ought not to ever go your way, because you are not GOD or the creator of life. 

I am mindful of the fact that there are men out there who suffer from more severe forms of depression and darker mental disorders such as suicide. I am not writing to address those more serious forms and would advise to seek help from a licensed professional who can do further analysis into the mental disorders you are dealing with. 

I will speak to the men, such as myself, who have experienced mild levels of depression and offer my opinion about solutions to help men to rise out of the depression funk we can create for ourselves from time to time. 

How did I become depressed? 

For me, when I find myself being in a depressive funk, it was because I was reacting to an external event in life. My compulsive reaction is the cause of the spiral down into a lower depressed state of being. Having unmet expectations and compulsively reacting to them is a recipe for a sad depressed life. 

Many times in my life an unmet expectation in a relationship caused me to lose my joy and fall into a depression. Other times it was the feeling of being stuck in a job or career that wasn’t fulfilling anymore. My life energy was low, my stress and anxiety levels high and a hopelessness set in that led me to feel more depressed about my life. 

The more I would feed these feelings with my own justifications and my compulsive reactions to them; the longer I would remain in a depressed state. 

If you can relate to me; I see you. I feel you. I understand you. 

The beautiful thing about depression is that you can use it to CHANGE AND GROW. 

First, you must realize that you are creating depression in your life. Therefore, you can overcome depression and create Joy in your life. 

5 Ways to Overcome Depression

1. Experience the Elements of Nature.

Get into Nature. Go to the beach. Go to the mountains. Jump in a lake or river. Walk barefoot in the dirt with your shirt off under the sun. Go on a hike or simply just walk in a park with trees, grass and nature. Experiencing all of nature’s elements has a profound healing effect on your whole state of being. 

2. Engage in more intense physical movement. 

Hiking, biking, running, swimming and other forms of vigorous exercise can help chemically balance the way your body functions which can help lead to a more vibrant state of being. I know this does wonders for me when I am feeling low energy and depressed. Getting into physical activity mode gets me out of funks every time. 

3. Give Gratitude

Oftentimes it just takes a list of gratitude to help you see your way out of depression. You can write a gratitude list down in a journal as part of a morning ritual. Write down 3 things you are truly grateful for and that bring Joy to your life. There is power in gratitude; that helps you see life in a completely different way. 

4. Food and nutrition

The processed nutrient deficient foods of our modern day poor diets are a big cause of depression.  The food we eat can most definitely have an impact on our mental and physical state of being. Ditch the dead lifeless unhealthy low quality foods and replace them with vibrant life giving living foods. Strive to consume large portions of plants, vegetables, seasonal fruits, high quality fats such as avocado, nuts, seeds and olive oil. Have minimal animal protein and eat a high quality source if possible such as grass fed and finished beef or wild caught salmon or other small wild caught fish. The food you eat becomes you. Eat wisely. 

5. Prayer and Meditation

This is a great way to help calm the mind and nervous system. I like to combine this with some breathing exercises to add further benefits that help me reach a more balanced centered state. Through prayer and meditation you can gain more clarity about life, purpose and living with Joy. Take 5-30 minutes everyday to focus intentionally on elevating your consciousness and surrender to what life will bring you each new day. 

You are not Alone.

One thing I have noticed in working with men is that many times we feel like we are alone. We are left to fight this battle all by ourselves. Though we may need space and time to work our depression out; it is good to have other men around you to support and encourage you to live the Joyful life you deserve to live. 

My last piece of advice to help you overcome depression is to find a healthy, positive, encouraging, loving group of men who can support you in the journey of life that will inevitably have it’s ups and downs. 

 I have come to the realisation that; we do not need anyone or anything to live joyfully. Joy comes from within. When we have joy from within us; all of life becomes joyful. Joy is contagious; and you will find that others want to be around you and you will want to be around others.

Overcoming depression is a transforming life experience that you CAN OVERCOME. It will not always be this way. If it is, look deeper into what is causing it. Then Surrender and Let Go. It is your choice. 

Written by: Brandon Holder

September 2021